Saturday, May 18, 2013
Experiment in Eating
This past week has been very, very eye opening and educating for me. For instance, I learned this past week that baseball season and working full time is hell for my dedication to the gym (which is sketchy at best anyway). I missed all but one day of the gym this week, thanks to practice and game schedules for two busy boys interfering with this crazy thing called my job. Seriously, this week was crazy town. Also - it was the last week for my students, which means there were treats galore and I wasn't as well behaved as I should have been (but when a special needs child comes up to you with a plate of cookies and tells you he made them just for you, really, can you say "no thanks, I'm dieting"? Or do you take it and eat a couple in front of him, relishing not only the chocolate deliciousness, but his look of extreme delight in pleasing you? I chose the latter and got a squeal and a hug for my effort - or a fist bump, or a glowing face and full on grin - depending on the level of physical touching the child's disability allowed for. It was worth the stress of what the treats were going to do to my scale efforts. I seriously LOVE my job!) Ok - so now the important tidbit I learned: I need to eat more. I know, it sounds crazy. When trying to lose weight, you're supposed to eat LESS< right? However, for the past month, I have gained and lost the same frustrating ten pounds and have seriously been considering physically harming my scale. But this week, I didn't get the regular intense exercise I normally do. I wasn't as strict in my dieting efforts as I usually am - meaning I actually had carbs and sugar and all things delicious. And I didn't weigh myself at all this week because I knew, I just KNEW, it was going to send me into a suicidal depression the likes of which only Ben and Jerry could pull me out of and I didn't want to start that cycle again. But, I bit the bullet and stepped on my enemy today.
And I have lost five pounds in one week.
This five pounds has finally, FINALLY, finally put me under a goal I have been trying to reach all fricken year. And I am seriously doing a happy snoopy dance today.
Someone told me once, along this crazy journey, that I needed to watch not only that I didn't take too much in but that I also didn't take in too little. The body is a funny thing in how it works. It's crazy and complicated and I am pretty sure mine is even crazier and more complicated than most (because that's just how my luck runs). But, whatever, I cracked a code this week and think I am on to something.
And no, I am not giving up the gym - I know that's good for me and I only have 2 work days left before I am on summer vacation. But, I am going to increase my caloric intake a bit and maybe add in more carbs - but not the cookies and cream variety so much as the good ones like whole grains and more veggies than just lettuce and tomatoes and cucumbers. Heck, I might even go crazy and add in some strawberries. I know, I know - you're saying "Whoa there, you'd better slow down, girl. That's just crazy!"
But one thing I've learned this week is maybe I need to experiment more. I am also learning that patience IS a virtue and I need to have a little more. It didn't all go on overnight, it's not going to come off the same, either. Even though I wish it would.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
give me strength
True story - I had myself talked out of the gym by the time I was done with work this afternoon. It was kind of a crap day, the kids I work with were in an uproar most of the day, one of the other teachers had a major attitude problem, I was thoroughly exhausted and still super sore from yesterday's workout. Really, I just wanted to go home and veg in front of my lap top with some tea in the peace and quiet of my house for a bit before I went to pick up the kids.
And then, on the way home, there is a turn I need to take. If I take it, I get on the interstate and go home. If I keep going straight, I end up at the gym. I couldn't get into the other lane because some jackhole kept speeding up and slowing down, thereby eliminating any space or chance I had to get over. After mentally flipping him off, I kept going straight after I missed the turn onto the 229 and ended up at the gym.
My body is seriously pissed at me and I don't think I will be able to walk tomorrow. I haven't been to a strength training class since my original ten week challenge (when I went to the gym before, I was only going to the kickboxing classes. Because, well, those damn strength training classes are HARD!) and it was TOUGH. It was lower body today. My thighs and ass still haven't quit burning and the class ended 3 hours ago. When I bent over to take dinner out of the oven, I am pretty sure I strained something.
However, I don't really regret going. Sure, I hurt. BUT, I was reminded during the class by a screaming instructor trying to encourage us to work harder that strength training is just as important as cardio. And the lower body days burn more calories than any kickboxing class ever could since the largest muscles in our bodies are worked.
Do I regret going? nope. And I need to remember that. However, I might regret it in the morning when I can't get out of bed.
And then, on the way home, there is a turn I need to take. If I take it, I get on the interstate and go home. If I keep going straight, I end up at the gym. I couldn't get into the other lane because some jackhole kept speeding up and slowing down, thereby eliminating any space or chance I had to get over. After mentally flipping him off, I kept going straight after I missed the turn onto the 229 and ended up at the gym.
My body is seriously pissed at me and I don't think I will be able to walk tomorrow. I haven't been to a strength training class since my original ten week challenge (when I went to the gym before, I was only going to the kickboxing classes. Because, well, those damn strength training classes are HARD!) and it was TOUGH. It was lower body today. My thighs and ass still haven't quit burning and the class ended 3 hours ago. When I bent over to take dinner out of the oven, I am pretty sure I strained something.
However, I don't really regret going. Sure, I hurt. BUT, I was reminded during the class by a screaming instructor trying to encourage us to work harder that strength training is just as important as cardio. And the lower body days burn more calories than any kickboxing class ever could since the largest muscles in our bodies are worked.
Do I regret going? nope. And I need to remember that. However, I might regret it in the morning when I can't get out of bed.
Monday, February 4, 2013
New Year, New Plan
Hm, it's been a while since I've checked in. And, I suppose since I am going all out this year to make sure I get ALL of this damn weight off, I should update.
Firstly - I finished the first 10 weeks of Farrell's and did extremely well. I was so pleased with my results - how much stronger I became, how much better I felt about myself. And the weight I lost helped a BUNCH.
Secondly - I signed a one year contract with Farrell's at the end of my ten week challenge and then promptly fell off the wagon. And by that, I mean, I fell off, got drug behind for several weeks until someone finally cut me loose.
Thirdly - when I was cut loose, I did horrible, terrible despicable to my body - things that we won't discuss here. We'll just say those 25 pounds I lost are back in the game and need to be lost. A-freaking-gain. argh.
Fourthly - I caught up with the wagon train and they are willing to let me jump back on. I did that today.
Can I just say that going back to the gym in week five of a ten week challenge sucks? You see, the ten week challenges start off slow and then build your strength and stamina over the course of the challenge. At the end of the challenge, there is about 3 weeks of crazy high impact kick boxing and uber psycho sessions of strength training before the next challenge starts again, at a slower pace and then building up again. This works for several reason: mainly that your body has to keep guessing where you are going with your exercise. AND you are defining and toning your muscles, rather than bulking up like a muscle head while losing the fat. I like this. I like the classes. I like the challenge. But o. . . . m . . . . g! When you don't go for a couple of months and then just jump right back into the program mid-challenge, your body pretty much screams at you throughout the entire class and then, once you get into you car to drive home, it laughs hysterically and maniacally while refusing to allow your arms to lift high enough to grasp the steering wheel or your feet to move from the brake to the gas pedal. Let's not talk about how I got home. Right now, my legs are groaning and moaning and I am pretty sure I heard a curse word or two a few seconds ago after the threat of leaving me for someone else. Bastards.
Fifthly - I am back on the 17 day diet. I am not following it STRICTLY, but I am following it very closely. I had such great success with it before, I want to see those results again.
And finally, I started a new Facebook page to hopefully try and keep me accountable and motivate me. With that page, I plan to keep track of my exercise AND what I eat everyday. Well, maybe not EVERY thing I eat, but if I have some good recipes to share, I will and if I misbehave and do naughty things to myself (gutter minds!! I mean things like eat a chocolate and peanut butter cup the size of my garage. Or drink my weight in Coca Cola.) So, anyway, I will probably be blogging more, I will definitely be using my FB page often. Feel free to share it. I have this idea in my head that the more people I have looking on, the more pressured I will feel to finally just get off my fat ass and make it not so fat anymore.
It's an idea, and well, let's just hope it works.
Firstly - I finished the first 10 weeks of Farrell's and did extremely well. I was so pleased with my results - how much stronger I became, how much better I felt about myself. And the weight I lost helped a BUNCH.
Secondly - I signed a one year contract with Farrell's at the end of my ten week challenge and then promptly fell off the wagon. And by that, I mean, I fell off, got drug behind for several weeks until someone finally cut me loose.
Thirdly - when I was cut loose, I did horrible, terrible despicable to my body - things that we won't discuss here. We'll just say those 25 pounds I lost are back in the game and need to be lost. A-freaking-gain. argh.
Fourthly - I caught up with the wagon train and they are willing to let me jump back on. I did that today.
Can I just say that going back to the gym in week five of a ten week challenge sucks? You see, the ten week challenges start off slow and then build your strength and stamina over the course of the challenge. At the end of the challenge, there is about 3 weeks of crazy high impact kick boxing and uber psycho sessions of strength training before the next challenge starts again, at a slower pace and then building up again. This works for several reason: mainly that your body has to keep guessing where you are going with your exercise. AND you are defining and toning your muscles, rather than bulking up like a muscle head while losing the fat. I like this. I like the classes. I like the challenge. But o. . . . m . . . . g! When you don't go for a couple of months and then just jump right back into the program mid-challenge, your body pretty much screams at you throughout the entire class and then, once you get into you car to drive home, it laughs hysterically and maniacally while refusing to allow your arms to lift high enough to grasp the steering wheel or your feet to move from the brake to the gas pedal. Let's not talk about how I got home. Right now, my legs are groaning and moaning and I am pretty sure I heard a curse word or two a few seconds ago after the threat of leaving me for someone else. Bastards.
Fifthly - I am back on the 17 day diet. I am not following it STRICTLY, but I am following it very closely. I had such great success with it before, I want to see those results again.
And finally, I started a new Facebook page to hopefully try and keep me accountable and motivate me. With that page, I plan to keep track of my exercise AND what I eat everyday. Well, maybe not EVERY thing I eat, but if I have some good recipes to share, I will and if I misbehave and do naughty things to myself (gutter minds!! I mean things like eat a chocolate and peanut butter cup the size of my garage. Or drink my weight in Coca Cola.) So, anyway, I will probably be blogging more, I will definitely be using my FB page often. Feel free to share it. I have this idea in my head that the more people I have looking on, the more pressured I will feel to finally just get off my fat ass and make it not so fat anymore.
It's an idea, and well, let's just hope it works.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
It hurts
I signed up for Farrell's Extreme Body shaping last week. It's an exercise and nutrition program that is INTENSE. It lasts ten weeks. There are six days of exercise a week, with a free day on Sundays/ The results I have seen is the main reason I signed up. And let me just tell you, if I make it through the next ten weeks, I will have survived the biggest war on weight loss I have ever declared.
The testing was this past Saturday and my first class was yesterday. I could barely move this morning. But, I took a bunch of Advil and showed up to my class tonight. Right now, my lower body is SCREAMING at me. My abs, my thighs, my calves, and my ass are so pissed at me, they are attempting to remove themselves from my torso in the most painful way possible.
But I will show up to class tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. And every damn day I am required to be there. Because this program is expensive. And the results are extraordinary. And I am damn sick and tired of being fat and out of shape.
Now, if I can just get the nutrition part of it down, I will have it in the bag. It's confusing, what I can and can't eat. So, I think I may just go back to the 17 day diet. That was working for me and, combined with this exercise regime, I plan on looking at a really hot Kama in ten weeks.
Watch me shrink.
The testing was this past Saturday and my first class was yesterday. I could barely move this morning. But, I took a bunch of Advil and showed up to my class tonight. Right now, my lower body is SCREAMING at me. My abs, my thighs, my calves, and my ass are so pissed at me, they are attempting to remove themselves from my torso in the most painful way possible.
But I will show up to class tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. And every damn day I am required to be there. Because this program is expensive. And the results are extraordinary. And I am damn sick and tired of being fat and out of shape.
Now, if I can just get the nutrition part of it down, I will have it in the bag. It's confusing, what I can and can't eat. So, I think I may just go back to the 17 day diet. That was working for me and, combined with this exercise regime, I plan on looking at a really hot Kama in ten weeks.
Watch me shrink.
Monday, June 18, 2012
He wonders why I call him Prince Charming
I just had an interesting text conversation with my hubby.
Me: I think I want to sign up for the next 10 week challenge with Farrells.
Prince Charming: ok
Me: wait . . . really?
PC: if you promise to commit 100%, no excuses - yes, really.
Me: but, it's really expensive
PC: yeah. so you better be committed.
Me: really?
At this point, you should probably start filling out your nominations for my husband's sainthood application.
PC: Yes. really. Take the checkbook and get it done punk ass.
So, maybe just a really minor sainthood would be ok. I mean, saints don't call their wives punk ass, do they? Wait . . . . do saints even have wives? Are they allowed to get married? Poor saints.
Me: Ok, I called and had to leave a message for them to call me back. I mean, I don't even know if they have room for me and I will probably not even pass the test to get into the program andit's really a lot of money and what if I don't do well and I think I am hyperventilating.
\
PC: you can do this, babe. I believe in you. You are going to be fine. Don't they have a $1k prize if you win or something at the end?
Me: more hyperventilating here.
PC: You can keep every penny of it WHEN you win.
I love this man. He just gave me almost $400 to join a ten week intensive exercise program. And by intensive, I mean even fit people who exercise all of the time have trouble moving the first few weeks. I may die, but at least my headstone can say "she tried". So, yeah, just waiting to get a phone call and then I am totally signing up for the biggest beating my body will ever have been through. Willingly.
That mother trucking scale better not disappoint me.
If you're wondering if they have a Farrell's near you (or are just wondering what the deal is about the program), check out their site: http://www.extremebodyshaping.com/
Me: I think I want to sign up for the next 10 week challenge with Farrells.
Prince Charming: ok
Me: wait . . . really?
PC: if you promise to commit 100%, no excuses - yes, really.
Me: but, it's really expensive
PC: yeah. so you better be committed.
Me: really?
At this point, you should probably start filling out your nominations for my husband's sainthood application.
PC: Yes. really. Take the checkbook and get it done punk ass.
So, maybe just a really minor sainthood would be ok. I mean, saints don't call their wives punk ass, do they? Wait . . . . do saints even have wives? Are they allowed to get married? Poor saints.
Me: Ok, I called and had to leave a message for them to call me back. I mean, I don't even know if they have room for me and I will probably not even pass the test to get into the program andit's really a lot of money and what if I don't do well and I think I am hyperventilating.
\
PC: you can do this, babe. I believe in you. You are going to be fine. Don't they have a $1k prize if you win or something at the end?
Me: more hyperventilating here.
PC: You can keep every penny of it WHEN you win.
I love this man. He just gave me almost $400 to join a ten week intensive exercise program. And by intensive, I mean even fit people who exercise all of the time have trouble moving the first few weeks. I may die, but at least my headstone can say "she tried". So, yeah, just waiting to get a phone call and then I am totally signing up for the biggest beating my body will ever have been through. Willingly.
That mother trucking scale better not disappoint me.
If you're wondering if they have a Farrell's near you (or are just wondering what the deal is about the program), check out their site: http://www.extremebodyshaping.com/
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Slacker
I know I have been slacking on keeping up on this blog. I also know you are majorly surprised by this fact. (insert sarcastic chuckle here).
What you should know, and should be damn proud of, is that I have NOT been slacking on my weight loss. I have kept up with exercising. I even started a new diet. And it is amaaaaaaaaaaazing grace. No, seriously, it's the end all, beat all, wonder of wonders of all diets. I love it.
What I love more?
Yup, in laymen's terms, this diet works . . . if you follow it to the letter. I don't care what people say about this part of the diet seeming shady or that part of the diet not being quite right. Here's what I know: the diet was created by a doctor and based off of the South Beach Diet (which I have successfully used in the past). This doctor is an actual MD. I looked up his credentials. They are real. I figure he kind of knows what he is talking about. He gives this diet to his patients. He actually exercises with his patients. And there are lots of success stories all over the internet of people losing weight and keeping it off for YEARS with this diet.
Of course, there are also lots of people dissing the program, saying it doesn't work, it's a modified South Beach, etc, etc, etc. Well, I tried it. I followed it to the letter. I am the kind of person that needs things spelled out. A "this is what you will eat at this meal on this day" kind of deal. And this diet has that for those that need it. For those that don't need it, there are guidelines and lists of foods allowed in each cycle. And I don't care how similar to the South Beach diet it is, this diet gave me what I needed. Namely: a 24 pound weight loss in 7 days.
Yes, you read that correctly. 24 pounds in 7 days.
Is that right? Yes. 24 pounds in 7 days. Will you see the same results? Maybe. But remember, I have a LOT more weight to lose than your average person. I am extremely obese. I hit my highest weight ever on December 31, 2011. I weighed even more than I did at 9 months pregnant with my youngest son, who was 11 pounds at birth. I was humiliated and destroyed by the scale's numbers. I am still humiliated and won't say what those numbers are, but I can tell you that I am closer to getting under 300 pounds than I have been in years. And I can't tell you how happy I am about that.
24 pounds in 7 days.
Is it water weight? Probably. But, you know what? That water weight has been weighing my scale (and ME!) down for years now. It's not showing up on the scale any more. And that does two things: first, it makes me ecstatically happy and I tend to jump around saying things like "booyah, baby - fifty pounds this year, bitches!" and other rather inane and childish things that make me giddy and happy and smile with a huge toothy grin. Secondly, like the good doctor says - water weight is just as bad for you as fatty weight. And now it's gone. gone. gone.
And, in case you missed it - yes, I have lost a grand total of fifty pounds since January 1. Not only that, but I reached my goal/resolution to lose fifty pounds by my wedding anniversary (which happens on June 30th).
New goal? Ten more pounds before my wedding anniversary. Can I do it? Last week, I would have said no. This week - I say I bet I do another 20.
So, you may not hear from me for weeks on end. I may not post for months and months. But that doesn't mean I haven't been busy. I have been . . . busy losing weight.
OH! And for those of you curious as to what diet has given me these amazing results? The 17 Day Diet by Dr. Mike Moreno. Get both the diet book and the cookbook. And then watch yourself disappear. As another side note, I will mention that I have NOT been feeding my kids anything different than what I am eating. I do add more carbs for them (like bread/tortillas/brown rice), because they are growing boys and need those. But, otherwise, they eat what I eat. And they LOVE it. I have never gotten more compliments on my meals than I do with these. And they don't seem to be as hungry throughout the day as they usually are, insisting on a snack every twenty minutes. Instead, they eat about every two or three hours, like I do. So maybe this healthy eating plan isn't just good for me. Seems it's good for my family, as well.
Finally . . . . .
fifty pounds, cha cha cha
fifty pounds boooooooyah!
(I like to shake my booty, grin like a madwoman, and wave my arms around as I spin in a circle and sing this, lol)
What you should know, and should be damn proud of, is that I have NOT been slacking on my weight loss. I have kept up with exercising. I even started a new diet. And it is amaaaaaaaaaaazing grace. No, seriously, it's the end all, beat all, wonder of wonders of all diets. I love it.
What I love more?
The results.
Yup, in laymen's terms, this diet works . . . if you follow it to the letter. I don't care what people say about this part of the diet seeming shady or that part of the diet not being quite right. Here's what I know: the diet was created by a doctor and based off of the South Beach Diet (which I have successfully used in the past). This doctor is an actual MD. I looked up his credentials. They are real. I figure he kind of knows what he is talking about. He gives this diet to his patients. He actually exercises with his patients. And there are lots of success stories all over the internet of people losing weight and keeping it off for YEARS with this diet.
Of course, there are also lots of people dissing the program, saying it doesn't work, it's a modified South Beach, etc, etc, etc. Well, I tried it. I followed it to the letter. I am the kind of person that needs things spelled out. A "this is what you will eat at this meal on this day" kind of deal. And this diet has that for those that need it. For those that don't need it, there are guidelines and lists of foods allowed in each cycle. And I don't care how similar to the South Beach diet it is, this diet gave me what I needed. Namely: a 24 pound weight loss in 7 days.
Yes, you read that correctly. 24 pounds in 7 days.
Is that right? Yes. 24 pounds in 7 days. Will you see the same results? Maybe. But remember, I have a LOT more weight to lose than your average person. I am extremely obese. I hit my highest weight ever on December 31, 2011. I weighed even more than I did at 9 months pregnant with my youngest son, who was 11 pounds at birth. I was humiliated and destroyed by the scale's numbers. I am still humiliated and won't say what those numbers are, but I can tell you that I am closer to getting under 300 pounds than I have been in years. And I can't tell you how happy I am about that.
24 pounds in 7 days.
Is it water weight? Probably. But, you know what? That water weight has been weighing my scale (and ME!) down for years now. It's not showing up on the scale any more. And that does two things: first, it makes me ecstatically happy and I tend to jump around saying things like "booyah, baby - fifty pounds this year, bitches!" and other rather inane and childish things that make me giddy and happy and smile with a huge toothy grin. Secondly, like the good doctor says - water weight is just as bad for you as fatty weight. And now it's gone. gone. gone.
And, in case you missed it - yes, I have lost a grand total of fifty pounds since January 1. Not only that, but I reached my goal/resolution to lose fifty pounds by my wedding anniversary (which happens on June 30th).
New goal? Ten more pounds before my wedding anniversary. Can I do it? Last week, I would have said no. This week - I say I bet I do another 20.
So, you may not hear from me for weeks on end. I may not post for months and months. But that doesn't mean I haven't been busy. I have been . . . busy losing weight.
OH! And for those of you curious as to what diet has given me these amazing results? The 17 Day Diet by Dr. Mike Moreno. Get both the diet book and the cookbook. And then watch yourself disappear. As another side note, I will mention that I have NOT been feeding my kids anything different than what I am eating. I do add more carbs for them (like bread/tortillas/brown rice), because they are growing boys and need those. But, otherwise, they eat what I eat. And they LOVE it. I have never gotten more compliments on my meals than I do with these. And they don't seem to be as hungry throughout the day as they usually are, insisting on a snack every twenty minutes. Instead, they eat about every two or three hours, like I do. So maybe this healthy eating plan isn't just good for me. Seems it's good for my family, as well.
Finally . . . . .
fifty pounds, cha cha cha
fifty pounds boooooooyah!
(I like to shake my booty, grin like a madwoman, and wave my arms around as I spin in a circle and sing this, lol)
Monday, April 30, 2012
ERGHHHHH
The title? That's my self confidence choking.
I've done pretty well with the challenge thus far, getting in at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. Well, not Saturday, but I made up for it on Sunday. (Little humorous side note here, I often mistype Sunday as Sinday. Coincidence? probably not.) This weekend was BUSY for me. Not only did I have to work, but I had my boys home for a four day weekend. Which means my sleep deprivation increases. And, while I am normally a bit of an insomniac, going from around 4 hours of sleep a night to, um, none, is brutal. So, Saturday my butt was officially kicked and I had other family things going on and I just didn't make it to the gym. I made up for it Sunday.
And then there was tonight. Prince Charming tells me to go first. He wants to work out extra hard tonight with the weights in addition to his running. It was totally fine with me. I got all suited up (and by that, I mean, I took my jeans off and replaced them with my ratty gray yoga pants and then changed my sweater for a bright pink t-shirt. Trust me, it's a hot look. If you're going for that whole overweight eyesore kind of thing), got my gear (kindle, ipod, phone) all gathered together and headed for the gym. When I pulled in and saw the parking lot full of large, souped up trucks that may or may not be symbols of something they are trying to replace in life (see me judging here? No? Look closer. I am. It's how I know they are doing the same thing when they see me in my cute little soccer mom SUV and my huge ass jiggling eyesore outfit wearing horror when I walk in - trust me - it happens), I got a little nervous. I know these trucks. And I know who drives them. ugh.
I pulled into a parking space and peered through the huge plate glass windows (and seriously, people - WHY do gyms have to have huge plate glass windows? Some people may enjoy the world watching them work out. Most people would prefer to keep that kind of thing private. Well, as private as going to a public gym to meet and defend and conquer your inner demons can be. Look, just let me sweat tears of blood and fat in my solitary corner over here. Facing the wall. The entire town doesn't need to know how brutal and unattractive I look while doing it. So - if any of you are planning on building gyms in the future - just a quick note - no plate glass widows.) So anyway, I was staring into these huge windows to the soul and I saw that yes, in fact, the owners of said trucks were, indeed, there instead of the overweight ugly wives, elderly spinster aunts, or, perhaps even a bloated, blind cousin as I had hoped had borrowed the trucks for a "Try it out at Tryon Gym" kind of evening.
Damn.
Instead, I saw the overly muscled grunter guys I often see there. You know the type. They wear ripped t-shirts to better display the obscene amounts of muscles that ripple as they move. The challenge each other on who can lift the most weight. They slap each other on the rear end and grunt and make a lot of noise as they work out. They sweat, they swear, and they . . . . stare. Usually, they come in twos or threes. It's uncomfortable and I hate it, but I try to ignore them and go to my solitary little corner for my work out. Tonight - they had come in full pack. Nine trucks in the parking lot. Twelve guys with too many muscles and too much spare time between sets to observe and silently mock the fatty in the corner were in the gym.
Double Damn.
My self confidence choked. I'm not going to make an excuse. I'm not even going to feel bad about it. If you are as large and jiggly as I am, you would have done the same damn thing I did. And that is: you text your husband. Explain the sitch. And then hightail your ass back home.
Prince Charming often asks why I call him that. He doesn't see what I see. He thinks all of his princely charming characteristics that make him my Prince Charming are in my head. But, if you know him or ever meet him, you will agree - I married an really awesome guy. When I got home, he met me at the door, all dressed and ready for his work out. He kissed me on the forehead, told me he loved me and then said - "I'll go first and scare the big bad wolves away. When I get back, you can go. It should be empty by then. And, if it's not, don't use the gym. Take Crazy Chloe for a walk around town. I'll stay awake until you get home, whatever you decide." No judging. No censure. Just acceptance of my freakishly odd phobia of being watched and judged by fit people while I work out and a smooch on the forehead. I love him.
And when he got back, he told me he had kept his promise and slayed my dragons. Ok, really he just said they were gone and the gym was empty now. And then he told me he loved me and he knew I was stronger than letting a simple little thing as, and I quote, "some jocked up meatheads chase you away from your dream". Did I mention that I love him?
So, I went. And while I worked out, I discovered several things about myself. First and foremost, a thing of which I am most proud - I can "run" a mile on the elliptical. My body hates me right now, but I did it. Secondly, Prince Charming is right. This is MY dream and I AM stronger than those jocked up meatheads. Or, I will be. In another fifty pounds or so. Probably more like 100, but we'll take it pound by pound. Until then, the third thing I learned is that I am a middle of the night working out kind of girl if I can't make the gym while my boys are in school or, like today, there is no school. And so, until I feel ready to slay dragons on my own, I will continue to let my Prince Charming do it for me. And then scamper in behind him for my own private dragon slaying.
I've done pretty well with the challenge thus far, getting in at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. Well, not Saturday, but I made up for it on Sunday. (Little humorous side note here, I often mistype Sunday as Sinday. Coincidence? probably not.) This weekend was BUSY for me. Not only did I have to work, but I had my boys home for a four day weekend. Which means my sleep deprivation increases. And, while I am normally a bit of an insomniac, going from around 4 hours of sleep a night to, um, none, is brutal. So, Saturday my butt was officially kicked and I had other family things going on and I just didn't make it to the gym. I made up for it Sunday.
And then there was tonight. Prince Charming tells me to go first. He wants to work out extra hard tonight with the weights in addition to his running. It was totally fine with me. I got all suited up (and by that, I mean, I took my jeans off and replaced them with my ratty gray yoga pants and then changed my sweater for a bright pink t-shirt. Trust me, it's a hot look. If you're going for that whole overweight eyesore kind of thing), got my gear (kindle, ipod, phone) all gathered together and headed for the gym. When I pulled in and saw the parking lot full of large, souped up trucks that may or may not be symbols of something they are trying to replace in life (see me judging here? No? Look closer. I am. It's how I know they are doing the same thing when they see me in my cute little soccer mom SUV and my huge ass jiggling eyesore outfit wearing horror when I walk in - trust me - it happens), I got a little nervous. I know these trucks. And I know who drives them. ugh.
I pulled into a parking space and peered through the huge plate glass windows (and seriously, people - WHY do gyms have to have huge plate glass windows? Some people may enjoy the world watching them work out. Most people would prefer to keep that kind of thing private. Well, as private as going to a public gym to meet and defend and conquer your inner demons can be. Look, just let me sweat tears of blood and fat in my solitary corner over here. Facing the wall. The entire town doesn't need to know how brutal and unattractive I look while doing it. So - if any of you are planning on building gyms in the future - just a quick note - no plate glass widows.) So anyway, I was staring into these huge windows to the soul and I saw that yes, in fact, the owners of said trucks were, indeed, there instead of the overweight ugly wives, elderly spinster aunts, or, perhaps even a bloated, blind cousin as I had hoped had borrowed the trucks for a "Try it out at Tryon Gym" kind of evening.
Damn.
Instead, I saw the overly muscled grunter guys I often see there. You know the type. They wear ripped t-shirts to better display the obscene amounts of muscles that ripple as they move. The challenge each other on who can lift the most weight. They slap each other on the rear end and grunt and make a lot of noise as they work out. They sweat, they swear, and they . . . . stare. Usually, they come in twos or threes. It's uncomfortable and I hate it, but I try to ignore them and go to my solitary little corner for my work out. Tonight - they had come in full pack. Nine trucks in the parking lot. Twelve guys with too many muscles and too much spare time between sets to observe and silently mock the fatty in the corner were in the gym.
Double Damn.
My self confidence choked. I'm not going to make an excuse. I'm not even going to feel bad about it. If you are as large and jiggly as I am, you would have done the same damn thing I did. And that is: you text your husband. Explain the sitch. And then hightail your ass back home.
Prince Charming often asks why I call him that. He doesn't see what I see. He thinks all of his princely charming characteristics that make him my Prince Charming are in my head. But, if you know him or ever meet him, you will agree - I married an really awesome guy. When I got home, he met me at the door, all dressed and ready for his work out. He kissed me on the forehead, told me he loved me and then said - "I'll go first and scare the big bad wolves away. When I get back, you can go. It should be empty by then. And, if it's not, don't use the gym. Take Crazy Chloe for a walk around town. I'll stay awake until you get home, whatever you decide." No judging. No censure. Just acceptance of my freakishly odd phobia of being watched and judged by fit people while I work out and a smooch on the forehead. I love him.
And when he got back, he told me he had kept his promise and slayed my dragons. Ok, really he just said they were gone and the gym was empty now. And then he told me he loved me and he knew I was stronger than letting a simple little thing as, and I quote, "some jocked up meatheads chase you away from your dream". Did I mention that I love him?
So, I went. And while I worked out, I discovered several things about myself. First and foremost, a thing of which I am most proud - I can "run" a mile on the elliptical. My body hates me right now, but I did it. Secondly, Prince Charming is right. This is MY dream and I AM stronger than those jocked up meatheads. Or, I will be. In another fifty pounds or so. Probably more like 100, but we'll take it pound by pound. Until then, the third thing I learned is that I am a middle of the night working out kind of girl if I can't make the gym while my boys are in school or, like today, there is no school. And so, until I feel ready to slay dragons on my own, I will continue to let my Prince Charming do it for me. And then scamper in behind him for my own private dragon slaying.
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